T'was the night before Christmas and all through the south
The Rednecks were drinking and trashing their house.
The Beer was all placed in their coolers with care
In hopes that their thinking would soon not be there.
When all of the sudden there arose such a fuss,
Billy Bob and Betty Sue had started to cuss.
"Your shirt and your bra are unbuttoned, undone!"
Billy Bob shouted, "Your cousin's a BUM!"
"How could you, you bitch?", he hollered with glee.
"You're screwin' your cousin and married to me!"
"Oh, go screw your mother, you self-righteous prick!
You're still just my brother, and HE's got a DICK!
Our kids are retarded, I can't even cook!
And our family tree hasn't even a crook!
If you were a man, you'd marry another -
Woman to beat on, and I don't mean your mother!"
They staggered outside and started to fight,
Then she pulled a gun and he pulled a knife.
The cousin fell in and yelled, "What's all the ruckus?
I come here to party, now, come on and fuck us!"
Then they all went to bed, Betty Sue in the middle.
When the new baby came who was father's a riddle.
As they drank all the beer and began losing sight,
T'was a redneck Christmas, Don't reality bite!
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